For the most part, Hawaii is fortunate enough not to contain things that are dead set on destroying your sense of safety and well being. There are no bears, no alligators, no poisonous frogs, snakes or ostriches (I don’t care what you say, they definitely want to peck your eyes out), and kiawe thorns or wana (sea urchins) are much more likely to ruin your day than anything else.
That being said, as a Texas native, where scorpions, rattlesnakes and brown recluses run rampant, there are still some things on Maui that scare the living nope out of me.
I know, I know, they won’t hurt me, and they do a lot of beneficial things for the environment, and they eat tons of bugs, blah blah blah.
But that doesn’t mean spiders the size of my human face are a welcome sight. Absolutely not. In fact, cane spiders are the true definition of the nope zone.
Also, as an added bonus, they can jump.
An odd thing happened when I moved to Hawaii – I stopped being super terrified of sharks. It may not make a lot of sense, seeing as how the majority of the tracked tiger sharks in the islands hang out in the same neighborhoods as I do, but I also know that the majority of them want nothing to do with me, and I’m absolutely more likely to meet my demise by way of a falling coconut, ladders or bees. That being said, I certainly avoid swimming in murky water, and should I ever happen to see a tiger shark in the water (once again, extremely unlikely), I’m sure to be out just as quickly as my short legs will allow.
And look at it this way – at least Maui doesn’t have bull sharks, which are essentially the ocean equivalent of ostriches. And by that I mean terrifying as hell.
They’re long, they’re painful, they’re fast, and they have fallen from tree branches onto my friend’s face. Examples A through D of why they’re a solid no thank you.
Seen most often on the south and west shores of Hawaii, box jellyfish are seen 8 to 12 days after a full moon. Don’t swim at remote beaches alone if you see any signs of jellyfish, and be careful not to let the kiddos touch any that may have washed ashore. While rarely seen on Maui, it’s not unheard of. Be careful and stay away from the nopers of the ocean world.
For a more in depth look, check out the full list of things likely to end your vacation in Hawaii. Mahalo for reading, and remember, even if some things happen to scare the nope out of you during your visit, it still looks like this…