Paradise loses its charm when you’re saddled with a Mai Tai hangover or you’ve fried your skin to a purplish red hue. While we can’t rescue you from every crappy situation that might find you on vacation, we can stave off a few vacation blunders and get you back to blissful in no time!
Problem: Scorching Sunburn
Your milky white skin hasn’t seen the sun in a year, and you just spent the last eight hours reading “Where Have All The Bachelors Gone?” while basking under the broiling sunshine.
Solution: Sooth Your Skin
We’d love to regale you with motherly sunscreen advice, but that ship has not only sailed, it’s sunk to the bottom of the deep blue. Yes, we believe in skin protection and yes we think you already knew that. So, let’s deal with the singed skin at hand (or chest or back).
- Spa yourself right: Maui has some of the most renowned spas in the world, and you can find sunburn relief on the other side of those frosted glass doors. Makena Resort calls it Sunburn Relief Treatment, The Four Seasons calls it Lana Malie and the Grand Wailea calls it their Soothing Aloe, Noni and Mud Cocoon. You will walk away from these calming treatments as happy as a pampered clam. If a sunburn has found you in Hana, head over to Travaasa and try out a seasonal treatment, which is sure to sooth.
Problem: Decadence Overload
You’ve starved yourself for three days to prepare for a five-star dining experience at Mama’s Fish House or Spago. You are now doubled over in stomach pains as your overworked digestion tries to make sense of the three-hour food inhalation race you just ran.
Solution: Alleviate Your Pain
Oh, the advice we could give on enjoying a beautiful meal in Maui. It’s similar to the advice we’d give a four-year-old: “Eat slowly, chew your food, you don’t need three desserts.” However, we will once again sidestep any more “should’ve, could’ve” advice and head for the remedy.
- Ask if the kitchen has any pickled ginger. This humble root can eliminate intestinal gas while relaxing and soothing the intestinal tract. If they only have raw ginger, ask for some hot water and seep a few small chunks for 5-10 minutes. This healing elixir will straighten you out in no time.
- Stand up. Yes, you feel like curling up in a ball and taking a nap under the table, but the restaurant won’t allow it. So stretch those limbs and take a stroll. Most hotels have breathtaking paths that meander about their water fountains and statues. Take advantage of their pristine landscaping and explore a bit. 15 minutes will aid in digestion and will lower your blood sugar levels, which will almost erase the painful memories of overindulgence.
Problem: Alcohol Overload
Maybe you were trying to support the local economy by taking six shots of our Organic Ocean Vodka. Maybe you were challenging your liver to a face-off. It doesn’t matter the reason, when you wake up and feel like a lava rock is sitting on your brain and last nights rum consumption has glued your eyelids shut, you’re in serious need of a rescue remedy.
Solution: Mollify Your Misery
Living in paradise doesn’t exclude us from feeling a visitors pain. We also support our local economy by doing shots. And we know a few secrets to sidestepping an all day hangover.
- Saimin. Don’t question the contents. Don’t over analyze the consistency. Just follow the lethargic crowd of last nights party crowd to Sam Sato’s in Wailuku. Their dry saimin has been quoted as “the best remedy for a hangover that we’ve ever experienced.” Doesn’t get much clearer than that!
- Colleen’s. They’ve seen so many somber morning after faces that they’ve made a breakfast dish just for you. The “Hangover Cure” is skillet-sauteed oven roasted potatoes, jack and cheddar cheeses, black forest ham, onions, mild green chiles, side salsa and sour cream, and wheat toast. Throw a couple of eggs on there, and you’re back in paradise.
- Sleep it off son. Grab some local coconut water to rehydrate, set yourself up under an umbrella and let the magic of the Maui waves sing you to sleep. You are in the lap of luxury on that padded chair with nothing to do but dream of younger days, when you didn’t get hangovers. And when you wake up, you’ll be wiser and more mature. Or at the very least less hung over.